Ukwesaba ukungquzulana nabanye kubonakala phakathi kwabo banenkxalabo yentlalo.
Unokhathazeka ngokuthetha into engayivumiyo kwabanye okanye okanye ukwesaba ngokubanzi ngokukwenza izinto eziya kuphazamisa okanye ziphazamise abanye abantu.
Nangona ukuphepha ingxabano kunokunciphisa uxhalaba lwakho kwixeshana elifutshane, kwixesha elide liqhubeka liloyiko lokuba awukwazi ukujongana neemeko ezibandakanya ukuxabana.
Uphulo lweNkcazo
Enye indlela yokunciphisa ngokukhawuleza ukwesaba ukuxabana kukujongana neemeko ezibangela ukuba uxhalabe. Le nkqubo yaziwa ngokuba yonyango lokutyhila kwaye idlalwa njengenxalenye yeprogram yonyango ekhudlwana njenge- cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) . Nangona kunjalo, unokwenza ukuzithengisa ngokwakho njengenxalenye yesicwangciso sokuncedisa.
I ngcamango ayiyi kuphuma kumntu wokuqala oya kumbona kwaye uqale ingxabano.
Ngokuphambene noko, oko uyenzayo njengenxalenye yokuqeqesha ukuxilongwa kukuzicoca ngokuthe ngcembe kwimeko eyoyikisayo kwixesha onokunyamezela.
Oku kuthetha ukuqala ngeemeko ezibangela ukuba uxhalabise kakhulu kwaye ekugqibeleni usebenze kwizinto ezibangela ukwesaba kakhulu.
Unokuziqhelisela ezi zinto ziza kubakho ubomi (ngokwenene) okanye ekucingeni kwakho ukuqala.
Ukuba ufumana kunzima ukwakha iimeko ezichanekileyo ezibangela ukwesaba, ukuyijonga ngokubhekisele kuzo kungcono ukhetho olungcono.
Ekugqibeleni ke, uya kufuna ukufumana ezo meko ebomini bokwenene.
Indlela Yokuziqhuba Ngokuphepha
Ngokungafani nezinye izinto ezichasayo, ezo zibandakanya ukungquzulana nabanye zikwazi ukukwenza abanye abantu bangabi nesineke okanye bafuneke. Khumbula ukuhambela nganye imeko usebenzisa iziphathamandla ezixhasayo (kunokuba ube nesigxina) kwaye ukhethe iimeko apho kungekho mngcipheko omncinci.
Ngokomzekelo, musa ukuzibambisana nokuxhatshazwa nomntu onoyikayo unokuxhalabisa.
Kwakhona ukhumbule ukuba ingongoma yezi zinto zenzeke kukunyusa amandla akho okunyamezela ingxabano, kwaye umphumo unokuthi uya kuphazamisa abanye.
Nangona unokuba uvakalelwa kukuba izinto ozenzayo ziyingozi, abo basesiphelo sokufumana baya kubona ukuba yinto encinci. Emva koko, ezi ntlobo zenzeke imihla ngemihla. Cinga ngendlela ovakalelwa ngayo okanye usabele ngayo xa ezi zinto ziza kwenzeka kuwe. Inokwenzeka ukuba, uya kutyhafelwa okwethutyana kodwa ngokukhawuleza ulibale malunga nesiganeko.
Uloyiko lolawulo oluphezulu
Olu luhlu olufutshane lulandelayo lunikeza imizekelo yezinto onokubeka kuzo ukwesaba ulawulo oluhambelana nokuxabana nabanye.
Kufuneka udale uluhlu lwakho olulungelelanisa ukwesaba kwakho kunye nokukhathazeka. Qinisekisa ukuba uluhlu luqala ngomsebenzi olula kwaye ngokukhawuleza lusebenza kanzima.
- Thatha ixesha elide ukwenza into. Yiba nengqiqo xa umthengisi ekuncedayo. Ipaki efanayo kunye nokuthatha ixesha elide ukwenza oko. Sebenzisa ixesha elide xa usebenzisa umshini wokutshilwa ngokuzenzekelayo. Sebenzisa isiqendu samakhuphoni kwivenkile okanye ucele ukuba benze umdlalo wexabiso kunye nomncintiswano.
- Yithi Hayi kuNto. Ukuba i-telemarketer ifowuni, cela ukuba ubeke "ungabizi" uludwe. Yithi hayi kumhlobo ocela kakhulu kuwe. Yithi hayi kusebenza naye ocela ukuba wenze okungaphezu kwesabelo sakho somsebenzi.
- Buyisela into okanye Cacela malunga Nento. Buyisela into kwisitore ngaphandle kokufumana. Tshela umgcini wezinwele unelisekile ngeenwele zakho kwaye ucele utshintsho. Ingxelo kumncedisi emva kokuba ukutya kwakho kwenziwe okokuba inkonzo yayicotha. Qaphela ukuba ukhethe izikhalazo ezifanelekileyo onokuzibonisa ngokuqinisekileyo.
- Yakha ingxaki. Yiya kwi-checkout kwaye uqaphele ukuba unayo imali eyaneleyo yokuhlawula yonke into ukuze ubeke into ethile. Thatha into kumnini-cashier ongenayo itekisi yentengo. Zama ukuhlawula ngekhadi lobudaka owaziyo aluyi kusebenza.
- Cela umntu ukuba ayeke ukwenza into ethile. Ukuba umntu usika phambi kwakho kumgca, tshela into eqinisekisileyo. Ukuba umntu uxhatshazwa, simela lowo mntu. Ukuba awuvumelani nombono womntu, xelela ngendlela efanelekileyo.
Ukufumana ukwesaba kwakho ukuxabana nabanye kuya kuthatha ixesha. Qinisekisa ukuba uhlale kwimeko uze uhlale unamava kunokuba ukhethe ukuphepha. Ngaphandle kokuba uhlale kuloo meko ude uloyiko lusezantsi, awuyi kufunda ukuba akukho nto yokwesaba.
Ukuba ufumanisa ukuba uxhalaba lwakho lunzima kwaye lukhuni, izicwangciso zokunceda zingabinelanga. Kubalulekile ukufikelela kumgqirha wakho okanye ugqirha wezempilo yengqondo ukuze uhlalutyo kunye unyango. I-ctnitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) kunye namachiza baye baboniswa ngokugqithiseleyo kwindlela yokuphathwa kwengxaki yokuxhalaba kwezenhlalakahle (SAD).
Umthombo
Antony MM, Swinson RP. Iintlanzi kunye nencwadi yokuxhalabisa abantu. I-Oakland, CA: I-Harbinger entsha; 2008.