Ngaba uyazi naziphi na iindidi zengcinga ezimbi?
Ingqondo yokuFunda: "Ndiyazi nje ukuba lo mntu akayithandi; ucinga into endiyithethayo iyamkhathaza."
Ukugqithisa: " Ndatshitshisa ixesha lokugqibela ndinike intetho; ndiyazi ukuba kuya kuphinda kwenzeke kwakhona."
Ukuqinisekiswa: "Ndiqinisekile ukuba umxeleli webhanki wabona izandla zam zishukuma; kufuneka acinge ukuba kukho into engalunganga kum."
Zininzi ezinye iingcamango ezintle ezingenakwenzeka ukuba abantu abaneengxaki zentlalo yoluntu (SAD) . Iingcamango ezingenangqiqo zenza ukuba zisoyike kwiimeko zentlalo kunye nentsebenzo kuba ziqala umjikelo wokucinga. Ukuze unqobe iimpawu zakho, kunceda ukufunda indlela yokujongana neengcinga zakho ezimbi. Enye indlela yokwenza oku kuqhutywe kwinkqubo eyaziwa njenge-restructuring cognitive, esetyenziswa ngexesha lokunyanga kwengqondo (CBT) .
Kukho amanyathelo amathathu abalulekileyo abandakanyekayo ekuhlaziyweni kwengqondo .
Inyathelo 1: Qaphela kwaye uqaphele iingcamango zakho ezimbi.
Inyathelo 2: Misela ukuchaneka kweengcamango zakho ezimbi.
Inyathelo lesi-3: Yenza iingcamango zakho ezingalunganga ngezona zinto zinceda.
Ngaphantsi kwenkcazo emfutshane malunga nendlela oya kuhamba ngayo malunga nokubeka ngalinye lala ma nyathelo ukuba usebenze ukuze uguqule iipatheni zakho zokucinga ezingalunganga.
Inyathelo 1: Ukuchonga iingcamango ezingalunganga
Ekuqaleni, kunokuba kunzima ukufumanisa iingcinga zakho ezimbi.
Ngamanye amaxesha kwenzeka ngokukhawuleza kwaye ngokuzenzekelayo ukuba ungaboni nakwizinga elithile. Ukuze uqale uhlawule ingqalelo, gcina incwadana kunye nemini kwaye ujonge ngokukhawuleza malunga neengcamango oye wazifumana kwimeko eyenza ukhathazeke. Ngexesha elide, kuya kuba lula ukuphawula kwaye uqokelele kwiingcamango ezizenzekelayo ozenzayo ngosuku.
Inyathelo 2: Ziyintoni Iingcamango Zakho Ezichanekileyo?
Ngexesha apho ungaxhalabele kwaye uhlala uxolo, uthathe ixesha lokuzibuza, "Ingcamango yam ingcamango?" Ngokomzekelo, ngaba kungenzeka ukuba umntu othetha naye wayekhathele kunokuba abe nexhala? Ukuba umxeleli webhanki waqaphela ukuba izandla zakho ziyazamazama, ngaba uyacinga ukuba ucinga kakubi kuwe?
Kungaba nzima ukulwa neengcamango zakho kwaye ubone ukuba ahlale echanileyo ngenxa yokuba imeko ivakalelwa kuwe. Ukuba unengxaki yangempela kulo msebenzi, cinga ukuba iindima zazingeniswa. Ukuba umntu owaziyo wayenomdla wokwenza intetho, ngaba ubungacinga kakubi ngaye okanye ukuba kukho into engalunganga kuye? Kungenzeka ukuba uziva uvelwano. Zama ukuzinikela kwinqanaba elifanayo lokwamkela kwabanye.
Inyathelo lesi-3: Buyisela iingcinga ezimbi
Isinyathelo sokugqibela kukubeka endaweni yakho ingcamango engafanelekanga kunye nezindlela ezintle zokwenza iimvakalelo zakho. Ekuqaleni, le nkqubo iya kuba nzima kwaye ayiqhelekanga. Yinto into oyakuyidinga ukuyenza imihla ngemihla ukuze ube ngumkhwa omtsha wokuzenzekelayo.
Eminye imizekelo yeengcamango ezintle kwaye ezincedo kunokuba zilapha ngasentla zingathi, "Lo mntu ndithetha naye makamele akhathele;" "Ngenxa yokuba ndinenkathazo yokugqibela ndinika inkulumo ayithethi ukuba kuya kwenzeka kwakhona;" kwaye "Umtshizi mhlawumbi akazange azibone okanye azikhathalele ukuba izandla zam zintengayo, unento engakumbi engqondweni yakhe."
Nangona yinkqubo ethatha imizamo emininzi, ukufunda indlela yokutshintsha iingcamango zakho ezizenzekelayo kunye nezoluncedo ziyakunceda ukunciphisa iimvakalelo zokungathembeki nokwandisa ukuzithemba kwakho. Kufanele uqale uqaphele ukuba iingcamango ezintle ziba lula kwaye ezimbi zifuna umzamo onzima. Ngokuhamba kwexesha, ubukhulu beengcamango zakho ezimbi ziya kuncipha kwaye ngoko kufuneka iimpawu zakho zokuxhalaba kwentlalo.
Umthombo:
U-Ellis A. (2001). Ukunqoba iinkolelo ezonakalisayo, iimvakalelo, kunye nezithintelo. UAmherst, NY: U-Prometheus.