Nangona ingxaki yokuxhalaba kweentlalo (SAD) yenye yeengxaki ezixhaphakileyo zengqondo, abaninzi abantu baphila iminyaka ngempawu ngaphambi kokufuna uncedo kwaye abaninzi abazange bafumane unyango nonke.
Kukho imingcipheko emininzi yokufumana unyango kulabo abane-SAD, kubandakanywa ukwesaba ukugwetywa kakubi, ukwesaba ukubiza ukunyulwa, ukukhathazeka malunga nokuthetha nomgulana, nokungazi ukuba ungaphi uncedo.
Ukuba unengxaki yokukhathazeka kwentlalo kodwa ungafunwa unyango, unokuba unengxaki yokutshintsha. Imingcipheko yokuphucula mhlawumbi ibonakala ibangele kwaye ukhuseleko kunye nokuziphatha okukhuselekileyo oye wavelisa kunokuba lula kakhulu ukubuyela kuyo.
Uphando lusitshela ukuba kukho izigaba ezinhlanu abantu abahamba ngazo xa becinga ngenguqu enkulu yokuphila. Ezi zigaba ngokubanzi zisetyenziswa kwizilwiliso, kunye neengxaki zempilo kunye nezobuchule ezifana nokulahlekelwa ubunzima okanye ukuyeka ukutshaya, kodwa nazo zihambelana nokukhathazeka kwentlalo.
Ukuphuhlisa iinjongo zokutshintsha
Ngezantsi uluhlu lwamanqanaba amahlanu otshintsho. Khangela ukuba ngaba ziphi na ezi zigaba zichaza.
- Ukuxhomekeka
Ngethuba lokuxubusha, mhlawumbi ungazi ukuba unenkxalabo yokukhathazeka kwentlalo okanye ungekho njongo yokutshintsha ukuziphatha kwakho. Nokuba awufuni ukutshintsha okanye ukholelwe ukuba ukuguqulwa kwakungenakwenzeka.
- Ukuxubusha
Ngethuba lexesha lokucamngca, ucinga ngokusebenzisa uxhalaba lwakho lwentlalo ngexesha elizayo (umzekelo, kwiinyanga ezimbalwa ixesha). Kule nqanaba, uyazi iingenelo zokunqoba uxhalabuntlalo lwentlalo kodwa usagxininiswa yinto efunekayo ukwenza utshintsho.
- Ukulungiselela
Ngexesha lokulungiselela, uceba ukusebenzela uxinzelelo lwakho loluntu kwixesha elizayo (umzekelo, ngenyanga). Kule ngongoma, iinzuzo zokungabi nxu lumano oluntu ziphezulu ngaphezu kweendleko zokwenza utshintsho kuwe. Ngeli nqanaba, unokwenza izenzo ezifana nokufumana unyango okanye ukuthenga izinto zokunceda.
- Isenzo
Ngethuba lesigaba sinyathelo, uthatha amanyathelo okutshintsha ukuziphatha kwakho ngokuxhalabisa. Unokuba usaya kwiyeza , uthabatha amayeza , okanye usebenzise izicwangciso zokunceda .
- Ukugcinwa
Isondlo senzeka emva kokuba uthathe inyathelo lokutshintsha. Ngethuba lesigaba sokugcina, uthatha amanyathelo okukhusela ukuxhalaba kwakho kwentlalo ekubuyeni. Usenokuba wenza izinto ezifana nokuphonononga ngezihlandlo okokufundileyo kwi- ctnitive-behavioral treatment (CBT) okanye uqinisekise ukuba uhlala uzivelele kwiimeko eziyikikayo.
Uphando luye lwabonisa ukuba unyango olutshanje olwenzelwe ukwandisa iinjongo lunokunceda abantu bafune unyango lwexinzelelo loluntu. Injongo yokuphucula unyango (MET) idibanisa imfundo malunga nokuxhalaba kwentlalo kunye neendlela zokudliwano-ndlebe ezenzelwe ukwandisa iinjongo zokutshintsha.
Ezinye zezifundo ezithintekayo kwi-MET zidweliswe ngezantsi. Ukuba unenkxalabo ekunqobeni ukuxhalaba kweentlalo, zizame wena ngokwakho uze ubone indlela ezichaphazela ngayo umnqweno wakho wokutshintsha.
(Bhala iimpendulo zakho kule mibuzo elandelayo)
- Ngumhla onjani ofana nawe? Ukuxhalabisa kweentlalo kukuchaphazela njani okwenzayo?
- Ziziphi iingxaki kunye nokuxhamla kokufuna unyango lwexhala lakho lentlalo?
- Ziziphi iinjongo zakho ezifutshane kunye nexesha elide? Uxinzelelo lwakho loluntu luchaphazela njani ezi njongo?
- Ucinga ukuba ubomi bakho buya kubukeka njani kwiminyaka engama-20 ukususela ngoku ukuba awufunanga uncedo? Yintoni eya kubonakala ngathi uyenzayo?
Emva kokuqwalasela iimpendulo zakho kule mibuzo, yakha icebo lokutshintsha. Isicwangciso sakho sinokulula njengoko amanyathelo ayisiseko afunekayo ukufuna uncedo, njengokuhlola iindlela zokufumana unyango okanye unyango, ukubiza ukuba wenze i-aphoyintimenti, nokucwangcisa indlela yokuyithintela izithintelo ezifana nokuqaphela indlela yokuhlawula unyango.
Imithombo:
UBuckner JD, uSchmidt NB. Uphononongo olulinganiselayo lwefuthe lokuphucula unyango ukwenzela ukwandisa ukusetyenziswa kweengxaki zokuziphatha-zengqondo zokukhathazeka kwentlalo. Uphando loPhando kunye noPhando . 2009: 47: 710-715.
Butler, G. (2008). Ukulwa nokukhathazeka kweNtlalo kunye neentloni. ENew York: IiNcwadi eziSiseko.