Uthando olunzima luye lwasasazeka, kodwa lunokuba nemiphumo emibi
Uthando olunzima luyindlela eqhelekileyo esetyenziswayo ukuchaza nayiphi na indlela yokuziphatha eqinile, ngezinye iindawo ezibandayo, indlela yokusingatha izenzo zomntu. Kunokuphikisana kakhulu, ngakumbi xa kusetyenziselwa kunyango lweengxaki ezithile, ezifana nokulutha kweziyobisi okanye ezinye iindlela zokuziphatha kakubi.
Uthando Olunjani?
Uthando olunzima lubonakalisa okokuqala ngumbhali nguBill Milliken kwincwadi yakhe ethi Tough Love , eyapapashwa ngo-1968.
Kukho iindlela ezininzi ezinomdla obunzima ezisetyenziswe ngolwimi lwansuku zonke. Ngokuqhelekileyo, isetyenziselwa ukuchaza nayiphi na uhlobo lokukhulisa umzali apho umntwana efumana iimvakalelo ezintle njengengxenye yenkqubo yokufunda. Oku kunokuluhlu ukusuka kwindawo ephilileyo yemida eqinileyo, eqhelekileyo kwizindlela zokuba ngumzali, ezixhaphazayo zokuzithoba , ukuxolisa okanye ulwalamlo lomzimba ezisetyenziselwa ukulawula umntwana.
Ngokomzekelo, umzali angasebenzisa uthando olunzima kumntwana omdala ongenakufumana umsebenzi. Abazali ababenomdla obunzima baya kuphepha ukuhlawula iindleko kwaye bavumele ukuba umntwana abhekane nemiphumo, njengokuhlawulwa kwexesha elide okanye ukuqokelela i-bill, kunokuba afune ukulungisa nokulungisa ingxaki. Eli gama lithandwa kakhulu, kodwa alinakusetyenziswa ngokufanelekileyo kuzo zonke iimeko, kubandakanya umlutha.
Ngomzekelo onobungozi woluthando olunzima, umzali uya kumnciphisa okanye akhubele umntwana ngenxa yokungaphumeleli kwibakala elifanelekileyo okanye azalise imisebenzi yabo.
Ukuba nemiphumo kunokuguqula ukuziphatha, kodwa lo ngumzekelo ogqithiseleyo onokuba nemiphumo emibi engapheliyo.
Uthando olunzima lungabhekisela kwinkqubo enhle yokukhulisa abazali apho umntwana efunda izifundo ezibalulekileyo, kodwa akayi kuba nemiphumo emibi yokusetyenziswa kakubi, kuba ayixhaphazi, kwaye igcina isithunzi somntwana.
Kungasetyenziswa ngokulinganayo kwindlela enobungozi yokuba ngumzali apho ukuzithembela komntwana kuncitshiswe, kwaye baxhatshazwa ngokomzimba, ngokomzwelo okanye kwintlobano . Ngaloo nto, uthando olunzima luba yinto engekho nto ngaphandle kokubonakalisa ukungahambi kakuhle kwengxenye yomntwana, kwaye ayikwazi ukusetyenziswa ukuba inikwe injongo okanye ukusemthethweni kwindlela yokuziphatha yomzali.
Uthando olunzima
Ngokukodwa, uthando olunzima luhlekisiwe njengendlela eyingozi ekujonganeni nentsha okanye abantu abadala abajongene nezilingo, njengalezo zibandakanya ukusetyenziswa kakubi kweziyobisi. Amanye amaziko enonyango asebenzisa ixesha elimnandi uthando ngokubhekiselele kwindlela enobungozi eyenza ukuphulukisa ukuthanda komntu. Nangona kubonakala ngathi isebenzayo kwixesha elifutshane, linokuyingozi ngakumbi imeko kwaye iholele ekubuyiseni kwingozi emva koko.
Uthando olunzima lunokuthi lube nefuthe lokunyanga, kodwa akufanele lwenzeke ngaphandle kwegalelo lugqirha okanye ugqirha. Ukuba unomntwana okanye umthandayo olwa nomlingo, funa umgqirha wezokwelapha ukubonisana ngendlela onokumnceda ngayo umthandayo. Ingcali yakho ingakucebisa ngeendlela ezifanelekileyo kunye nemida ukuze uncede umntwana wakho abuyele ngendlela ezinzileyo.
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