Isihloko sokungathembeki kunye nokuqhaqhaqhaqhaqhaqha bahlala kuyo yonke indawo. Siva malunga nayo rhoqo kwiimidiya kwaye sibone imitshato yabahlobo okanye izalamane ezonakaliswe yimicimbi. Akumangalisi ukuba abaninzi abantu bebodwa bambuza umbuzo othi, "Ndingathini na?" enjalo imeko ukuba kwenzeka ntoni kuwe. Kuqhelekile ukuba uzibuze nokuba umtshato wakho unokusindiswa ngokukhawuleza okunjalo.
Udokotela wezengqondo kunye nomlobi wencwadi yokuzimela, uDkt. Harriet Lerner ubhala ngale nto kwinqaku ethi "PsychologyToday.com", "Ngaba Umtshato Wakho Uya Kuphila Ngayo?" (2013). Uyabhala,
"Qhubeka ukhumbula ukuba umcimbi awuyiyo into eyingozi kakhulu eyenzekayo kwimitshato engonwabileyo. Inkolelo yokuba" isizathu esiyinyani "emva komtshato siqabane elingafanelekanga okanye umtshato ombi. kunokwenzeka, kodwa kunyanisekileyo ukuba imicimbi yenzeke kwimitshato ebalaseleyo kunye nemicimbi enemithombo emininzi, kunye nethuba kunye nomsebenzi womongo ziphakathi kwezinto eziphambili zokulahla. "
Umtshato unokusinda ekungathembeki, kodwa kubalulekile ukukhumbula ezinye iinkcukacha:
- Kulula
- Ibuhlungu
- Kukho mhlawumbi kube nomsindo, iinyembezi kunye nokudandatheka
- Kuya kuthatha ixesha lokuphilisa
- Kuya kuthatha isigqibo sokuba uthembe kwakhona
- Kuya kuthatha umcuphi uthatha uxanduva kwaye angamgxeka umlingane wakhe kumcimbi
- Kuya kuthatha "ixhoba" elijongene neengxaki ezingundoqo kumtshato
- Kuya kuthatha isibindi
- Kuya kufuna ukuzibophezela okukhulu kuzo zombini ukugcina umtshato wakho
- Kusenokwenzeka ukuba uya kufuna uncedo lwezakhono ukucwangcisa oko kwenzeka
Iingcali ezininzi ziye zabona imitshato ingapheli nje ukungathembeki kodwa ibe ngcono.
Kuyinyani ukuba umtshato ungasinda kwimicimbi yomtshato. Oku kuya kwenzeka kuphela ukuba abo babini baqabane bazimisele ukufumana nokusebenzisa izakhono eziyimfuneko ekwenzeni umtshato wabo uphumelele.
Ukuphuhlisa indlela entsha yokudibanisa kufuna ukuba bobabini:
- iingxoxo ezinzulu kunye ezinentsingiselo
- ukuveza iimvakalelo ezisengozini
- ukukhusela, ukugxeka, ukuphika
- ukuphonononga iipatheni zakho eziphantsi okanye "imijikelezo embi" yokunxibelelana
- ukukulungele ukuxolela intlungu
- ukunyaniseka ngokupheleleyo
- jonga imithwalo yemvakalelo enokukufumana kule ndawo
Ezinye iimvakalelo ezivelele xa isibini esithile sifumana ukukopela emtshatweni wabo siquka:
- Ihlazo
- Ukuthotywa
- Iphulo
- Intukuthelo
- Buhlungu
- Ukudimazeka
- Rage
- Ukunyaniseka
- Xolelo
- Nomona
- Ukuthanda
- Intukuthelo
- Ukulahlwa
- Ukungathembeki
Ezinye iMitshato ayifanele Yisindiswe
Umtshato wakho unokusinda kule ntlupheko yemvakalelo. Nangona kunjalo, eminye imitshato ayifuni ukugcinwa. Ukuba ukungathembeki ngenye yeempawu ezininzi zobundlobongela basekhaya kunye / okanye ukuphathwa kakubi kwimizalwane yakho, awuyi kuziva ukhuselekile ukuba usebenze ngeengxaki zakho. Le miba enzulu kakhulu engatshintshiyo.
Kuyinselele kumlingani ogqatshelweyo ukuba wazi ukuba umlingane angenza "ithuba lesibini." Ukuba ukungathembeki kwaba sisiganeko esisodwa, oku kwahluke kakhulu kunomntu onomzekelo wokukopela okuqhubekayo.
Ukuba umlingane wakho ungumculi we-serial, kungenokuba ixesha lokuphosa ithawula. Kukho ezinye iimpawu ezintle ukujonga njengowomlingane obonisa ukuzisola, obonisa izenzo ezicacileyo ukuba umcimbi uphele. Umlingane naye unokubonakala ngokucacileyo ngokubonelela ngeephasiwedi zee-akhawunti, avumela i-app okanye ukulandelela i-GPS, ukuthatha umtshini wamanga okanye ukulungele ukutyikitya isivumelwano se-post-nuptial. Ezi ngcebiso zingenakusebenza kuwo wonke umntu, kodwa zifanelekile ukuqwalaselwa kwixeshana elifutshane ngelixa zizama ukusebenza ngokungathembeki.
Ukufumana Uncedo loBungcali
Jonga umgqirha onikwe ilayisenisi okanye isazi sezengqondo esisebenza ngokugqithiseleyo ekusebenzeni nezibini.
Qiniseka ukuba ubuze malunga nobuchule babo ekuncedeni ukungathembeki ngokukodwa. Indawo yokuqala ukuba ungaqinisekanga ukuba ufuna ukugcina umtshato, okanye loo nto iyaqhubeka, yinkqubo ebizwa ngokuthi "Ukucebisa uNgqiqo." Abanye abantu bafumana bhetele (okanye kulula) ukuthetha nabafundisi babo. Le nto ingaba yinyathelo elungileyo lokuqala, kodwa umcebisi weengcali uya kufuneka ukuba ancede usebenze kwinkqubo yokuphulukisa ixesha elide.
I-Article ihlaziywe nguMarni Feuerman