"Yintoni uthando?" ngumbuzo ogqithiseleyo. Uthando luyinto ebalulekileyo ekusetyeni kwethu kwaye kaninzi kwenza ubomi bufaneleke. Uninzi lwethu luya kuba nencazelo ecacileyo xa kucelwa ukuba ichaze uthando. Bambalwa abaphandi baye baveza i-theory efanelekileyo malunga nomxholo wothando. Inkolelo yesithandathu yothando yenzelwa ngumbhali wezengqondo uDkt. Robert Sternberg ngasekupheleni kweminyaka yee-1980 kwaye uye wathandwa.
Iingcamango zakhe zibonisa ukuba abantu banokungafani ngamazinga athile, ukuthandana nokuzibophezela nganoma yimuphi umzuzu ngexesha.
Icandelo lokuqala lothando, ubuhlobo obusondeleyo, lubandakanya ukuvakalelwa, ukuxhamla kunye nokudibana. Icandelo lesibini, uthabatha , luquka iimvakalelo kunye neminqweno ekhokelela ekukhangekeni, ekuthandeni, nasekugqithiseni ngokwesini. Ekugqibeleni, inxalenye yesithathu, ukuzibophelela , kuquka iimvakalelo ezikhokelela umntu ukuba ahlale nomntu kwaye ahambelane neenjongo ezabelwana ngazo. Ukufumana ibhalansi phakathi kweemfuno zesini kunye neemfuno zothando kubalulekile.
Ezi zinto zintathu kwiingcamango zikaDkt. Sternberg zisebenzisana ngendlela echanekileyo, "ukukhangela" omnye komnye. Kule ndawo, iindidi ezisixhenxe zentlanganiso yothando ingenzeka. "Iindidi" zothando zingahlukana ngexesha lobuhlobo kunye. Iintlobo zothando olumelelwe kunxantathu zilandelayo: ukuthandwa, uthando olungenanto, uthando lomthandane, uthando oludlelaneyo, uthando oluthandwayo, kwaye ekugqibeleni (uhlobo oluhle kakhulu), uthando oludliwayo.
I-Infatuation ibonakaliswe yinqweno kunye nesithando. Akuzange kube nexesha elaneleyo lomntu obusondelene naye, uthando lomthandane okanye uthando oluthandanayo ekuqaleni kobudlelwane. Ezinye iintlobo zothando zingagcina ziphuhlise emva kokuba isigaba sokunyanzelisa siphelile. Ukuthandwa kwangaphambili kwakunamandla kangangokuthi abantu bangakwazi "ukuthwala ithampane" omnye komnye, bengazi ukuba ngaba bafuna ukuthatha uthando olusisigxina, olunzulu nolunaphakade.
Uthando olungenanto lubonakaliswa ngokuzibophezela kodwa ngaphandle kokuthanda okanye ukuthandana. Ngamanye amaxesha, uthando oluqinileyo luye lwaba luthando olungenanto. Ukutshintshwa kwakhona kuyenzeka kwakhona. Ngokomzekelo, umtshato ohleliweyo unokuqala ngaphandle kodwa ungaphumeleli ngenye indlela yothando emva kwexesha.
Uthando lwabantu abanothando lwabantu abanomdla ngokomzwelo ngokusondelana nokuthanda. Abalingani kulolu hlobo lolwalamano bancokola kakhulu ababanceda bazi iinkcukacha ezithandanayo malunga nomnye. Bonwabela umdla wesondo kunye nomsa. Ezi zibini zingaba kwindawo ekuzibophezele ixesha elide okanye izicwangciso zexesha elizayo.
Uthando oludibeneyo luhlobo oluthandanayo , kodwa olungenalo uthando. Unamandla kunobungane kuba kukho ukuzibophelela kwexesha elide. Kukho mncinane okanye akukho mkhwa wesondo. Oku kudla ngokufumaneka kwimitshato apho i-passion iswele khona, kodwa isibini sisaqhubeka sinomdla obunzulu okanye unxulumano oluqinile. Oku kungabonwa njengothando phakathi kwabahlobo abasondeleyo kunye namalungu entsapho.
Uthando olunomdla lufanekiswa ngokutshatyalaliswa komoya kunye nomtshato apho uthando lukhuthaza ukuzinikela ngaphandle kwempembelelo yokuzinza. Siva ezininzi ngolu hlobo phakathi koogqirha (umzekelo, uRenee Zellweger noKenny Chesney okanye uJulia Roberts noLyle Lovett).
Singaba sazi ngabantu abaye bakwenza oku kwimijikelezo yethu, besenza sicaphule intloko yethu bebuza ukuba bangatshata njani ngokukhawuleza. Ngelishwa, imitshato enjalo ayisoloko isebenza kwaye xa yenzayo, siyitshilela "kwinhlanhla."
Uthando oluxhamlayo luhlobo olupheleleyo lomthando kwaye lubonisa ubudlelwane obuhle. Olu luhlobo luthando esilubandakanya "nezibini ezitshatileyo." Ezi zibini zinobudlova obukhulu kwiminyaka emininzi. Abakwazi ukuzicingela nabo nabani na. Kwakhona abanakuzibona bevuya ngokwenene ngaphandle kwamaqabane abo. Bayakwazi ukunqoba ukungafani kunye noxinzelelo abajongene kunye.
Ngokutsho kukaDkt. Sternberg, nangona kunjalo, uthando olunzima luya kuba nzima ukulondoloza kunokuba lufezekise, njengoko izixhobo zothando kufuneka zifakwe kwizenzo. Sivile ukuba "uthando yenzi isenzo" kwaye yiloo nto uDkt. Sternberg uthetha ngayo. Ngaphandle kokuziphatha kunye nokubonakalisa, uthando lulahlekile kwaye uthando luyakwazi ukubuyela kumhlobo odibeneyo endaweni yoko.
Ingqungquthela kaDkt Sternberg yothando ngenye yezinto ezininzi, nangona enye yezona zikhokelo ezichaziweyo nezicatshulwa. Naluphi na uthando okanye, mhlawumbi abantu baqonda ukubaluleka kokubili nothando nokuthandwa, kwaye bayaqonda ukuba ubomi bubhetele ngakumbi kunokuba ngaphandle.
Umthombo: i- Sternberg, i-RJ (1986) Ingcamango yesithandathu yothando . Ukuphononongwa kwengqondo, 93, 119-135.