Ukujongana neengxoxo ezingenakwenzeka ngokucwangcisa kwangaphambili, ukuxubusha kwizakhono zakho zentlalo, nokwazi ukuba usebenzisa ixesha lokuhlaziya. Nangona iingxoxo ezintle zingabonakala zilukhuni, zinokuba ngamathuba amahle okuzenzele intetho encinci kunye nokusingatha ingxabano-ingakumbi kulabo abaneengxaki zokuxhalaba kweentlalo (SAD).
- Qonda ukungahambi. Lawula imeko ngokuziqonda ngenxa yezizathu zokungabikho. Mhlawumbi kukho ezininzi izilili ezide okanye mhlawumbi omnye umntu unombono oqinileyo owehlukile. Ukuchonga isizathu sokungahambi, kwaye uya kuba sisisombululo esisodwa ekufumaneni isisombululo. Ukuba omnye umntu uvele nje wehlile ibhomu, kulungile ukuthetha into enjengaleyo, "Ndicinga nje ngento othethileyo," ukuzinikela ixesha lokugaya ulwazi.
- Gcina incoko ihamba. Kukho isizathu sokuba kutheni ixesha elide lingenza uzive ungakhululekile. Ucwaningo luka-2010 oluvela kwiYunivesithi yaseGroningen, eNetherlands, ebizwa ngokuthi "Ukuphazamisa ukuhamba komzimba: Kwenzeka njani ukuba iingxoxo ezincinci kwiingxoxo zeqela zithintele iimfuno zentlalo," epapashwe kwiNgxelo yoPhando lwezeNzululwazi ngezeNtlalo, yabonisa ukuba iingxoxo ezichukumisayo zikhokelela ekuzivekeni, ukuqinisekiswa kwezentlalo, kunye neqela leqela. Yenza okusemandleni akho ukugcina ingxoxo ihamba, kwaye bobabini kunye neqabane lakho lomtshato uya kuziva bekhululekile.
- Fumana ihlazo. Ukuba incoko yenzekile, qwalasela ukwenza into yokunciphisa imizwa. Ungenza oku ngokuxelela umdlalo okanye ibali elihlekisayo, ukuzihlekisa, okanye ukufumana ukuhleka kwimeko yakho yangoku.
Ukugcina ukukhanya kwemizwelo kuya kunceda ukuphula umkhenkce kwaye uhambise incoko phambili. Ukuba unamathele kwingqungquthela yencoko ungasebenzisa ihlaya ukuze uzenzele, njengokuthi "Ubunzima bunjani ibhere le-polar elilinganisa?
- Vumelanise ukunciphisa. Ngamanye amaxesha ukuxoxa kungenangxaki ngenxa yokungavumelani. Kule meko, soloko uzama ukufumana ingcamango. Yenza uvelwano ngomnye umntu, kwaye uzama ukuqonda indlela ejonga ngayo imeko ehlukile kunako. Ukwenza oko kunokukuvumela ukuba wamukele imbono yakhe ngaphandle kokutshintsha yakho.
- Phu laphula kunye neempendulo. Ukuba awukwazi ukuba uthetha ntoni kwincoko, zama nje ukucinga emva koko uvale komnye umntu. Ukuba unolwazi olutsha esikolweni lukhungathekile malunga nesigaba esiphantsi kwesabelo, tshela into efana ne "Uvakala ngathi udidekile ngokwenene kwibakala lakho kule projekthi." Ngokuqhelekileyo abantu bafuna ukwazi ukuba iimvakalelo zabo zivunywa kunokuba zinike izisombululo kwiingxaki zabo. Ukwenza njalo kukukhupha umxinzelelo wokuzama ukucinga malunga noko uzayo.
Sebenzisa ixesha lokuphulaphula nokucinga malunga noko kuthetha, kunokulungiselela oko uza kuthetha. Buza abanye iimvo zabo kunokuba bacinge ukuba wonke umntu uvakalelwa ngendlela efanayo nawe, kwaye kha wuleza ukuyeka ukuthetha ngento ethile xa uziva ukuba kwenza abanye bangakhululeki. - Buza umbuzo. Mhlawumbi usele ngxubeni enzima kuba ungayazi nantoni na ngomnye umntu. Kule meko, kulungile ukubuza imibuzo ukuze uzame kwaye ufumane iimfuno eziphathekayo ezingaba ziingxoxo.
Ukuba uyazi ukuba uya kuba semeko apho uza kuthetha nabantu abangaziwayo, zama ukucwangcisa ubuncinane imibuzo emithathu evulekileyo yokuya "ukuya" ukuya ku-"(ukuba") okanye ukuba "yintoni") ongayisebenzisa ukuba ungena kwiimeko ezinengxaki. Umzekelo, ukuba ufumanisa ngapha kwep punchbowl ethetha nomalume ongazibonanga kwiminyaka emininzi, cela into ethi "Yintoni egcina uxakekile kule mihla?"
Imibuzo inokucelwa ukuba ihlolisise ingqalelo kwisifundo esakhankanywe ngaphambili kwintetho, ukucacisa ukungaqondi kakuhle kunye nokubonisa ukuba uphulaphule ngenyameko omnye umntu. Qaphela nje ukuba ungabuzi imibuzo emininzi emgceni, okanye ungabonisana njengombuzo wokubuza imibuzo.
- Ukunikezela ngesihloko esitsha. Iingxoxo ezintsha zeengxoxo zifezekile kwiingxoxo. Yiba ezimbalwa zezi zilungele kwaye zilungele ukuvelisa ngexesha elizayo xa ucinga ukuba akukho mntu unokuthethayo. Eminye imizekelo yezihloko zibandakanya imiboniso ebonakalayo ye-TV, into enayo efana nayo (njengesivivinyo esizayo esikolweni), kunye neziganeko zangoku. Qinisekisa ukuba isihloko osilumisayo siza kubhenela kwiintetho zakho zentetho.
Izihloko ezintsha nazo zifezekile iintetho ezincinci nabantu abangabazi. Ngaphandle kwezinto ezinjengemimandla yemozulu ingaba yindlela enhle yokuphula imvula. Ukuba uyazi ukuba uya kuba semeko apho uza kufuneka uxoxe nabantu abangaziwayo, unokucinga ukuba wenza umsebenzi othile wokufunyanisa ukuba ngubani oza kudibana kunye nokulungiselela imibuzo ehambelana neminqweno yabo. Ukunikezela ukunyaniseka kwangempela (malunga nompahla wembatho okanye ikhwele, umzekelo) kuyindlela enhle yokuthetha ngento entsha.
- Yiba nesigxina. Ukuba ufumana incoko nomntu onomona, ngubani ocele into engafanelekanga, okanye akukukhathazekanga, kubalulekile ukuzimela. Thatha ukulawula ngokuthetha into eqinisekisayo, njengokuba "Andifuni ukuthetha ngale nto."
Ukuba ufumana ixhoba lomntu olukhuni, yenza incoko ibe kude nesihloko esitsha kunye nomntu omtsha. Qaphela ukuba ungagcini imizwa engaxhalabisi-okanye unobungozi ekupheleleni ukucaphukisa nokubuhlungu ekugqibeleni. - Thula. Azikho zonke iimeko ezibiza umncoko. Nangona kuyi nyaniso ukuba intetho ephilileyo phakathi kwabahlobo yenza ukwakha uxolo, ukuba ufumana ezicaleni zoluntu nabantu abangabaziyo, ukuthetha akusoloko kuyimfuneko. Isihlalo sakho sebhasi okanye isithuthi angeke sibe nesithakazelo ekwenzeni intetho encinci lonke uhambo-kwaye luhle kakuhle. Ukuba omnye umntu unikeza iimpendulo ezininzi zegama elilodwa, kwaye uyagubungela ingalo okanye axhomeke, ezo zibonakalisa ukuba unokukhetha ukuhlala uzola.
- Jongana nezihloko ezibuhlungu. Sebenzisa ingqiqo ukulawula iimeko ezingenangxaki ngenxa yezinto ezithethwa. Yenza ingxoxo kwindlela eyahlukileyo ngokuthetha into efana nale nto, "Oo inomdla. Uyazi into endiyayiva nangenye imini?" kwaye uqhubeke uxoxa ngesicatshulwa.
Ukuba umntu udlala ingongoma engathandekiyo phakathi kwengxoxo eqhubekayo, cinga ukumisa isikhalazo esifutshane, uze uqhubeke nomgca wokuqala wengxoxo, kunokuba ulandele oko kwakutshiwo (kwaziwa nangokuthi "ukulondoloza ubuso" kumntu owenze ukugqithiswa).
Ezinye iindlela zokusingatha izihloko ezingathandekiyo zimele zihlale zithe cwaka okanye zibe zihamba phambili ukuba uzive ungakhululekile. Yithi into enjengaleyo, "Andiyonto enye yokwenza ihlebo, kwandenza ndive ndikhululekile kuba ndingathandi ukuba abanye bathethe ngam." Ngaba sinokuthetha ngenye into? " Izihloko ezinobungozi ngamanye amaxesha zingaba nokuba yintoni eshiywe ingagcinwanga.
Ukuba kukho umntu osilela ukulahleka okanye kukho impikiswano yentsapho, ingaba yenze i-undercurrent kwaye idale ukungenakwenzeka kwingxoxo. Ngokuqhelekileyo iindlela ezifanelekileyo zokusingatha ezi meko kukuzikhupha ngendlela evulekileyo-ngendlela enomusa nesihawu. Yithi into enje, "Ndiyaxolisa ngokulahlekelwa kwakho. Kufuneka ube nexesha elinzima ngoku." Nangona kunjalo, ukuba iimvakalelo zisenamandla kakhulu (njengengxabano yentsapho) kungcono ukuba ungasebenzisi ixesha elide ukuvuma imbambano, okanye ubeka ingozi ekuvuleni iingxaki zemidala.
Izihloko ezintle ziyakwazi ukuquka nalapho unento ofuna ukuyicela okanye isihloko esixakekayo ofuna ukuxoxa ngaso. Ukuba uyazi ukuba uya kuba neemeko ezibuhlungu zolu hlobo, zama ukunika omnye umntu isilumkiso ukuze angathatyathwa. Vumela loo mntu ukuba unento ebalulekileyo ekuxoxeni kwaye ubeke ixesha lokwenza njalo. - Phuma ngomusa. Ukuba akukho nto yashiywa yinto enye, okanye unesizathu esithile sokufuna ukushiya ingxoxo, lungele ulungiselele ukwenza ngokufanelekileyo. Njalo mbulela omnye umntu ngokuthatha ixesha lokuthetha. Ukuba umntu uhlawula ixesha lakho kwaye akayi kukuvumela ukuba ugqibe ingxoxo, sebenzisa isizathu sokufuna ukusela esinye, njengesiphene sokuphuma.
- Yiqonda. Akuyena wonke umntu intlephethi yentlalo othanda ukuthetha. Abanye abantu banokuba neentloni okanye ukuxhalaba kwentlalo, kwaye bathathe ixesha elide ukufudumala kwiimeko ezintsha kunye nabantu abatsha. Ukuba umntu uvakalelwa kukukhathazeka ngenxa yokuba engazi, yibani nomusa kwaye niqonde.
Ukuba omnye umntu unenkxalabo yokuxhalaba kwezenhlalakahle, kusenokuba ukwesaba okanye ukuphazamiseka okubangela ukungahambi kakuhle phakathi kwakho. Abantu abane-SAD bayika ukuhlazeka phambi kwabanye, kwaye kuyachaphazela indlela abaphila ngayo imihla ngemihla. Musa ukugweba umntu obonakala engenangxaki, evekisayo, okanye oyikayo. Kunoko, yibani nobuhlobo, bonise umdla wokwenene ngokuphulaphula ngokukhawuleza, uze ufumane isihloko somdla, ukuze uncede umntu oziva ekhululekile. - Lawula uxhala lwakho loluntu. Ukuba iingxoxo zibuhlungu ngenxa yeentloni okanye ukuxhalaba kwentlalo, yenza oko unokukwazi ukulawula le miva. Ziqhelise izakhono zentlalo, zifunde iincwadi zokuncedisa ngokuphathelele ukunqoba iintloni kunye nokuxhalaba kwentlalo, kwaye ubone umgqirha ukuba uxhalaba lwakho lunzima kwaye luphazamise ubomi bakho. Unetyala kuwe kunye neqabane lakho leqabane elizayo ukuze ufumane intetho kwiimvakalelo zakho.
- Cacisa ukuphela kweziphumo. Ngamanye amaxesha incoko iyanqunyulwa. Esikhundleni sokungahoyi ukuba intetho iphelile ngokukhawuleza, xolisa okanye uvume imeko elandelayo xa uthetha nomntu othile. Cacisa isizathu sokuba ufanele uhambe kunye nokuba kwakungekho umntu. Kwabo banenkxalabo yentlalo, bachaza ukuba ngamanye amaxesha iimeko zentlalo ezinokubangela ukuba zinzima kakhulu zinokuhamba ixesha elide ukubeka omnye umntu ekhululekile.
- Ukuphelisa ngesishwankathelo. Kubalulekile ukuqeda iingxoxo ngesishwankathelo kunye nesicwangciso esizayo. Ngokomzekelo, ungathi into enje, "Kwakunzima ukuthetha ngawo onke ama-marathons oye wathatha inxaxheba. Mhlawumbi ngexesha elizayo sihlangene sinokucwangcisa xa ndiqala ukuqeqesha." Uhlobo oluhleliweyo lokuphela kwintetho lunceda ukuzisa izinto kwiindawo ezikufutshane kodwa zikhokelela kwiingxoxo ezizayo.
- Ncedisa ukulungisa iingxaki. Ncedisa umntu ukuba asombulule ingxaki kunye nokungangqinisiseki phakathi kwakho kuya kutshabalalisa kalula. Ukucela umngane ngcebiso ngenye indlela enhle yokugcina iingxoxo zivuya kwaye zihamba. Ukuthetha ngeengxaki kunye nezisombululo kunokuthatha ixesha elide-kwaye kukunike into yokukhangela ngexesha elizayo xa ubona umntu.
Imithombo:
Cindy Bigbie. Indlela yokusingatha iiNgxoxo zeAkkward?
Umbhalo weNzululwazi yeNtlalo yePhysical Psychology ukuphazamisa ukuhamba kweMvelaphi: Indlela encinci ngayo kwiingxoxo zendibano ezichaphazela izidingo zeNtlalo
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Psychology Namhlanje. Iingcebiso ezili-10 zokuthetha malunga nantoni nayiphi na
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