Ukuncoma akunakwenzeka ukuba kunikezwe ngabantu abajongene nokuxhalaba kweentlalo kunokuba bahlala bekhululekile kwiimeko zoluntu. Nangona kunjalo, ngokufunda imigaqo yokunika iingconywa ezilungileyo, nokuzibeka kwimihla ngemihla, unokuba ngumntu onokumdumisa.
Ukunika ukuncoma kubaluleke kakhulu kwizakhono zentlalo ukuba zifunde kuba kuyindlela enhle yokuqalisa iingxoxo , ukuphuhlisa izibophelelo zentlalo nokunciphisa uxhalabo malunga nokuthetha.
9 Amanyathelo Okunika Ukuncoma Okukhulu
- Musa ukunika iziphakamiso ngokungahleliwe. Ufanele ukholwe ngokuqinisekileyo ukuncoma okanye kuya kuvela njengongenanto.
- Nika okuthe ngqo kunokuba kuthotyelwe jikelele. Esikhundleni sokuba "Ikhishini lakho libukeka lihle," yithetha into efana neyo, "Ikhishi lakho libukeka likhulu, ndiyathanda kakhulu ikhabhinethi entsha kunye ne-hardware."
- Njengoko ekufumaneni ukunconywa , ukuncoma kunceda uqale incoko. Ungayongeza kuyo, "Utholephi iikhabhinethi" okanye "Ngubani ofake ikhitshi yakho?"
- Cinga ngesimo kunye nolwalamano lwakho nomntu ukuqinisekisa ukuba ukuncoma kulungile. Iingxelo zobuntu bomntu kufuneka zinikezelwe kuphela kubahlobo abasondeleyo kwisetyenziselwa ngasese.
- Sebenzisa amagama okudala kunye angavamile esikhundleni seentsuku zonke. Yiyiphi ehlala kunye nawe ixesha elide- "Ingubo yakho entsha imnandi ngokwenene" okanye "Ingubo yakho entsha imnandi! Ndiyayithanda le nto, iyakubonisa amehlo!"
- Thatha amathuba okubonga iimpawu zesimo kunokuba ubonakale, njengoko ezi ntlobo zinconywa zivakala. Umzekelo, ukuncoma umama ngenceba yakhe kubantwana bakhe okanye ngutitshala ngokukwazi kwakhe ukugcina abafundi abakhuthazayo.
- Yiba nokulungele ukugxeka ngokukhawuleza. Ukuncoma kuthetha ukuthini xa omnye umntu eyazi ukuba awusabi ukunyaniseka malunga neephene.
- Ungesabi ukuncoma abantu abasemagunyeni. Abantu abasemagunyeni bavame ukufumana ukunconywa okuncinci kwaye unokumangaliswa kumpendulo oyifumayo-loo mntu uya kwamkela impendulo emihle.
- Xa uncoma umntu onokuzithoba, kungcono ukuba ugweme indumiso kunye nokunyanzela ukuziphatha kunokuzimela. Uphando luye lwabonisa ukuba xa abantwana abanesidima esincinci banikelwa udumo oludityanisiweyo okanye indumiso malunga neempawu zabo, kubangelwa ukuba babuyele emuva, kubangele bakhathazeke ngokusilela kwexesha elizayo okanye ukuphepha iingxaki ezizayo.
Emva kokuba ufumene ubuchule bokunika uncomelo, unokufumanisa ukuba ulunge ngakumbi ekufumaneni ngokuncoma . Khumbula, nokuba kunika okanye ukufumana, ukuncoma kufanele kube ngamava amava.
Uphando ngeeNkcazo kunye neNkxalabo yokuXhalabisa kweNtlalo
Kwisifundo esincinci sabantu abali-17 abanabantu abahlala kwi-social media kusukela ngo-2008, kwaboniswa ukuba abo abaneengxaki babeneempendulo zomzimba kumazwana angamanga (ukugxeka) kodwa kungekhona kumbono ochanekileyo okanye angathathi hlangothi. Ngoxa ungeke ukwazi ukulawula oko abanye bathi kuwe-kutheni ungacingi ukulawula oko utshoyo kuwe?
Iingcamango ezingalunganga azifani nokugxeka abanye.
Cinga ngako ngale ndlela: yonke ixesha ucinga ingcamango engalunganga ngawe, unokubangela uxinzelelo.
Endaweni yoko, zama ukucinga iingcamango ezintle okanye ezingathathi hlangothi malunga nokukhuthaza ukuzinza kwengqondo nokuphila kakuhle. Zibambe rhoqo xa unengcamango engalunganga ngawe, kwaye uyifake esikhundleni sakho ngesimo esilungileyo okanye esingathathi hlangothi. Ngethuba ekuqaleni, oku kungase kuluve kunzima, ekuhambeni kwexesha kuya kuba ngokuzenzekelayo.
Umthombo:
> Blair K, Geraci M, Devido J, et al. Impendulo ye-Neural kwi-Self-kunye nokunye okuchazwayo Ukudumisa nokugxeka kwi-Generalized Social Phobia. Arch Gen Psychiatry . 2008; 65 (10): 1176-1184. i-doi: 10.1001 / archpsyc.65.10.1176.
Brummelman E et al. Akunjalo nje Enhle - Yinto Enhle Ngokumangalisayo! ": Impembelelo Enobungozi Yokuncoma Kwabantwana Abancinci.
Brummelman E et al. Ukutya abantu abanesidingo sokudumisa: Umntu udumisa ama-Backfires kwabantwana abane-Self Self-Esteem. J Exp Psychol Gen. 2014: 9-14.
I-Trunk P. I- Brazen Careerist: Imigaqo emitsha yoPhumelelo . ENew York: I-Business Plus; 2007.