Kulo lonke ubudlelwane, umtshato uquka, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba imibhangqwana ixabane. Kodwa, ungayichazela njani ukuba izimpikiswano onayo ziphilile okanye ziphawu lolwalamano olubi? Ukuba neentsebenziswano ezininzi ezingalunganga kunezinto ezinokuthi unokuzibuza ubuhlobo bakho. Ukuba sele usuqala ukuzibuza ngekamva lomtshato wakho kukho iindlela zokuxelela ukuba kukho inkxalabo yokukhathazeka.
Nazi iimpawu ezihlanu eziza kukunceda ukuba unokwenza umtshato wakho uphelelwe ematyeni:
1. Nonke nithetha kodwa ningathethi.
Ulwalamano lububambiswano apho amaqela amabini afaneleka ukuva. Nangona kunjalo, ukuba ugqiba ukwenza konke ukuphulaphula ngelixa iqabane lakho lithetha konke, ngoko lixesha lokuba uthethe kwaye uzive. Okufanayo kuya kumlingane wakho. Okona kubaluleke kakhulu, kufuneka uwenze kwinqanaba lokuba uziphulaphule kwaye uziphulaphule ngokukhawuleza izikhalazo okanye umxhala wakho. Yi nyaniso. Ukuba omnye wenu akafuni ukuphulaphula okanye ukuphazamisa, ngoko kuyimpawu ecacileyo yokuba umtshato wakho unganokuhlahla iibhubhu.
2. Awuyihloniphi imibono kunye nemibono yabanye.
Unxibelelwano ludlala indima ebalulekileyo ekugcineni ubudlelwane obuhle. Umele uzive ukhululekile ukuthetha nomlingane wakho phantse nantoni na, nangona kunjalo. Ukuba iqabane lakho lingavumi ukuhlonela izimvo zakho kunye neengcamango malunga nemibandela ebalulekileyo, umtshato wakho usenkingeni.
Ngeke ufune ukuqhubeka nobudlelwane apho uhlala ubeka eceleni iimbono zakho nje ngenxa yokukholisa iqabane lakho. Kwiphepha le-flip, uyakholelwa ukuba lakho iqabane alifanelanga okanye lihlonele ngenxa yexabiso okanye ukuziphatha kwabo?
Ingundoqo yeendlela ezifanelekileyo zokunxibelelana ezikhuthaza ubudlelwane obusondeleyo phakathi kwezibini zibandakanya ukukhulumisana okukhuselekileyo kunye nokuvulekileyo kwengcamango neemvakalelo, kungekhona ukugxothwa kweengcamango ezikhokelela ekusebenziseni ubuchule okanye ubunzulu.
Kwaye ulwalamano oluhle luyahlonipha.
3. Uchitha ixesha elingaphantsi komnye nomnye.
Kukho loo mihla xa bobabini bekunandipha ixesha elithile elichitha kunye kunye. Ngoku, uqala ukuvakalelwa kukuba into ethile ishintshile, kwaye ayiva kakuhle. Yintoni eyoyikisayo ngakumbi xa unomdla wokuba nabahlobo bakho ngaphezu kokuba neqabane lakho. Lo mbandela unokuvela kwiimeko ezahlukeneyo, kodwa ngumqondiso ocacileyo wokuthi into ephosakeleyo. Ukuxhamla kwakho kunye neqabane lakho kubaluleke kakhulu ukugcina ulwalamano lwakho luhamba.
4. Uqala ukungaqiniseki ukuba utshatile "ulungile."
Ngaba unokungabaza ngeemvakalelo zakho kumlingane wakho? Ngaba uhlala ukhathazeka ngcamango yokuba wenze impazamo evuma ukuchitha ubomi bakho kunye nalo mntu? Ukuba kunjalo, ngokuqinisekileyo ixesha lokucinga kwakhona nokuhlaziya ubuhlobo bakho. Ukuba iimpawu ezithile zomlingane wakho owake wazidumisa ngoku zikhohlisayo, umtshato wakho usemngciphekweni.
5. Akukho namnye kuni ozimisele ukubeka umgudu ongakumbi ukwenza umtshato wakho usebenze.
Njengoko ilizwi elithandwayo liya kuthi, "Kuthatha amabini kwi-tango." Ngaloo ndlela, wena kunye neqabane lakho kufuneka niqinisekise ukuba nonke nibeka inani elilinganayo lomzamo wokwenza ulwalamano lwakho lusebenze.
Ukuba wenza inxalenye yakho, kunye neqabane lakho alinakwenza njengoko ezimisele ukufaka umzamo ofunekayo, ngoko unokuya ngase "Splitsville."
Umtshato wakho unjengesityalo. Ifuna unonophelo oluninzi, ingqwalasela kunye nokukhuliselwa ukuze kukhule kwaye kukhule. Ukuba uqaphela ezinye zezilumkiso kwiimpawu zakho, lixesha lokubeka ingozi kwaye uxubushe ukwesaba kwakho ngendlela ephuma entliziyweni kunye neqabane lakho. Ukuba usenokuba nobunzima bokubuyela emhlabathini oqinileyo, mhlawumbi ixesha lokufuna iingcebiso malunga neengcali ukuphucula ubuhlobo bakho.