Ubuhlobo obusondelene nomzimba yintoni eyenza ubudlelwane ngaphezu kobuhlobo be-platonic. Ezinye izibini ziwela kumzekelo ombi okanye umkhwa wokuvumela ukuba inxalenye yomtshato ingene endleleni. Kukho ukuphahla "okuqhelekileyo" kwiminyaka embalwa yokuqala yomtshato, ingakumbi emva kokuba abantwana beza emfanekisweni. Kodwa, ukulivumela ukuba lomeke ngokupheleleyo lidla ngokuba yingxaki enkulu yomtshato ekufuneka iqwalaselwe.
Isibini esitshatileyo singabahlali abakhulu okanye abangaphantsi. Ukuba zombini zilungile nale nto, ayifuni ukuxhalabisa. Kodwa, le nto ayifumanekanga. Ngokuqhelekileyo, omnye umlingani okanye bobabini abalingani baxakeke kakhulu okanye baxhatshazwe ngolu hlobo.
Umtshato ongenasondo ungachazwa njengomtshato ongenanto okanye engekho nto yesondo phakathi kwabantu ababini. Kuqikelelwa ukuba malunga ne-2% yomtshato. Kukho izizathu ezininzi zokuba umtshato ungaba nesondo.
Izizathu Eziqhelekileyo Zomtshato Ongenasini
i-libidos yezesondo ezingahambelaniyo (i-sex drives)
ulwalamano oluthile
iimvakalelo ezimbi kumlingane wakho njengomsindo okanye intukuthelo
ukugweba okanye ukugodla ulwabelana ngesondo
ukunyamezela
ukhathala
ukungathembeki
kubeleka
uxinzelelo
i-erectile dysfunction
Isifo sengxaki yesini-zesini (isini esilawulekileyo sesondo)
iingxaki zamandla
nemiphumo emibi
ukudandatheka okanye ezinye izinto zempilo yengqondo
kwimbali yokuxhatshazwa ngokwesondo
umlutha woonografi
uxinzelelo olunzulu
UProfesa Denise A Donnelly uthetha neNew York Times malunga nezifundo zakhe kwimitshato engasini na.
Uqikelela ukuba i-15 ekhulwini yabalingani abatshatileyo abalalanga kunye neqabane labo kwiinyanga ezintandathu zokugqibela ukuya kunyaka owodwa. Ukukhethwa kwethu kwezesayensi ezingekho phantsi kwezesondo kubonisa ukuba ipesenteji ephezulu kakhulu yabathatha i-poll bayicinga ngomtshato ophantsi. Mhlawumbi ngulo nto ucinga ngamagama athetha ngomtshato!
Kungakhathaliseki, awuyedwa. Umtshato ongenasondo "lixesha eliphandle kakhulu kwi-intanethi.
UMichele Weiner Davis, umbhali wencwadi ethi, Sexual Starved Marriage wachaza ukuba kutheni umtshato ongaphantsi kweyona nto ingxaki enkulu emtshatweni: "Xa omnye umlingane efuna ukunxibelelana ngokugqithiseleyo, ukuxhamla ngokobuhlobo, ulwabelana ngesondo kunye nolunye ulingane naye ucinga : "Yiyiphi into ebalulekileyo? Kutheni unqabile kangaka? "Xa le nto ikhutshulwa kakhulu, ukutshatyalaliswa kwamanqanaba onke kuhlahlela. Ukuyeka ukuchitha ixesha kunye kunye nokuyeka ukuhleka kunye namahlaya omnye nomnye, bayeka ukunxibelelana kwamehlo. Ukubambisana phakathi kwabo kunqabile, kwaye kubeka umtshato engozini yokungathembeki kunye nokuqhawula umtshato. "
Iingcebiso Zokunceda Umtshato Ongenasondo
- Qaphela impawu zomtshato wesini ophantsi.
- Thetha kunye nomlingane wakho malunga nomcimbi wesini ophantsi okanye akukho wesini kumtshato wakho. Kungaba nzima, kodwa kuyimfuneko.
- Yamkela ukuba ukutshintsha umtshato wakho ongenasiniko kuya kuba lula. Nonke nidinga ukwenza isigqibo sokuba nomtshato ophilileyo.
- Njengoko uthetha, gqibo ngeendlela ocinga ukuba unokuvuselela ubomi bakho bobulili.
- Faka ubulili kwishedyuli yakho. Kuyavakala kungenakunqweneleka, kodwa kunokuba nomdla kakhulu xa kwenziwa ngendlela efanelekileyo. Nina bobabini niya kuba nethemba lokuba nijonge phambili!
- Thatha umsebenzi omtsha kunye. Kufuneka wenze umgudu wokuhlaziya uthando lwakho kunye nokudala okukudala okwakunakho. Intsingiselo kunye nokuthandana!
- Jonga oogqirha bakho bezonyango ukujongana neemeko zonyango ezichaphazela impilo yakho yesondo. Zininzi izisombululo ezinokukunceda, kodwa kufuneka uvule ugqirha wakho. Bayivile konke kwaye baya kuba nako ukunceda ukuba uthembekile.
- Zama umtshato, u-workshop okanye i-semina ukuze uncede ngoqhagamshelwano kunye noxhumano.
- Cinga ngokubona umcebisi weengcali ojongene nemiba yesini yomtshato. Umgqirha oza kuqinisekiswa ngesondo uza kuba luncedo kakhulu kule meko.
Ukuba iqabane lakho lingavumi ukuba kukho ingxaki emtshatweni wakho kwaye ayifuni ukutshintsha, kuya kufuneka ugqibe isigqibo sokuba ngaba umtshato ophantsi okanye ongenawo umtshato ungumntu ohlukileyo. Musa ukwenza isigqibo sokungcatsha iqabane lakho kwaye ungathembekanga njengendlela yokusingatha ukukhungatheka kwakho ngokungahambi ngesondo kumtshato wakho.
I-Article ihlaziywe nguMarni Feuerman